Hysterectomy -- Good or Bad Choice??

Two years ago today I had a hysterectomy. It wasn't an emergency, yet it was. According to my "new" obgyn there was an 'urgent' need to get this done before yet another cycle.

I was very anemic. I was getting worse. There was the need to do it before yet another cycle began. After my gastric bypass 4 yrs ago I began having iron problems. Not unheard of. However, the oral iron supplements were 'not' helping due to malabsorption issues. Common downfall of WLS. I had just completed a 6 week cycle of iron transfusions. My veins were shot. Actually, the 'pre-surgery' lab work had to be taken from my foot. I had to be put to sleep w/something in a mask before they could get an iv because they were unable to get a vein. I am a hard stick on a good day. But it was pretty bad at this point.

I listened to my hemotologist when he said "it is crucial that you have a hysterectomy." When my original obgyn wouldn't even hear the thought of me having one the hemo dr. sent me to another one. She agreed w/him. I was scheduled for surgery less than a week after seeing her.

At the time - we had just disrupted Corry's adoption. We were not ever going to adopt again due to the horrific, painful, traumtic experience we had w/this adoption.

Because my cycles were hell on wheels...I was all for it. I mean...who wouldn't be? What 32 yr old having had her periods since the age of 10, getting weekly iron treatments would revel at the thought of "no more periods and no more horrible transfusions". I jumped on board....

Quickly.

Then.when.it.was.all.over.and.done.with.the reality.set.in!!

This was a decsion that was made w/little to no discussion w/any professional other than my hemo dr., the first obgyn and the 2nd obgyn.

When I went in for my post op check up I found out from the obgyn that her daughter and my hemo. dr's son were....dating! Seriously dating.

Dr. B was smart. He knew "what" ob to refer me to. That's okay though...I was "done w/the cycles and done with the iron transfusion".

Hmmm...deep breathe? OR deep heartache?

Both. I will admit that I don't miss that lovely annoying visitor every single month. I don't miss the cramps. The mood swings (hell I still have mood swings who am I fooling?). The..transfusions.

OOOOHHHH...WAIT!!!

The hysterectomy DID NOT CURE THE IRON defeciancy problem. Plain.Cut.Simple.And.Dry.

Four weeks after my surgery he told me that I would probably need 1-2 boosts a year. Okay...I deal with that right? Well, I ended that 6 week nightmare. Went back 6 weeks later...lo and behold my iron was still low. There were 'still' extreme defiencies. I would most likely need 6weeks on...6-8 weeks off of iron treatments for the rest of my life. WTH...You mean I was "doing" that before my hysterectomy and then you take every chance of having any more children away from me and tell me "oh..btw...it didn't work".

Needless, to say I was even more devastated.

During one of my treatments I had a pretty extreme meltdown. The nurse, the doctor, the lab tech...everyone there had tried to start an iv. I drew the liine when asshat dr. suggested my foot. Screw you and the horse you rode in on...no joke that was my exact words. I remember that day very vividly. Tears streaming down my face. Every single vein in my hands, arms and wrists had been poked and prodded. And yet...my fer. and hemoglobin and some other # were very low. Acutally, one level was very high. Which I can't really explain why. But basically because the other #'s were so low...it was well...long story I don't understand. I left that day saying "NO MORE". Each week...I went back. The next week I went back. My "favorite" nurse was there. Terrified to touch me. I was always very nice to the nurses. As I sat and talked w/her and started crying because of my frustrations she said "Why don't you have a subclaval ?port or pic line inserted? " She talked to the other nurses who all agreed. I made an appt. for the next day to see Dr. B. He would hear NOTHING OF IT> When I told him "I trusted you...trusted that having this surgery would help...and now look at me". HE was A control FREAK. His way or the highway.

The next week the nurses couldn't beleive what he told me. ALL of the nurses (including the nurse manager) said I needed to see one of their other docs. Dr. S - he is from india. Short, hard to understand, researcher and very good. Okay. I did.

Guess what...since I have seen him I have NOT had to have treatments again. That was 18 months ago. I am very close to needing them. However, when I do have to have them again there will be "options." I may not have a port or pic line inserted. But we will discuss "options' of how I can get the needed treatments w/o blowing my veins.

he found the magical problem. My B-12. As long as my B-12 stays up...or at least boosts. Everything else is 'okay'. Not great. But okay.

My point in all this....was this a good or bad choice to have had the hysterectomy? It all depends upon the day.

I have had very little to no hormonal issues. The breast lumps, cysts, tumors..ect ect...are most likely related. Yet, no one really knows. I do know that I have more headaches than I ever did before.

One thing hasn't changed .... my longing to have more children. The uncertainty of 'will be able to adopt again' - is something I think about every single day. I think about the fact that had we been able to move fwd w/adopting last year - we would either have our little girl home or be close to having her come home. The unknowns are all so much to think about at times.

I guess there is no real answer "yes it was a good choice or no it was a bad choice".

It is..what...it...is....and I can't change it. EVER.